I HATE ENGLISH! 12 things that don’t make any sense

Published on February 25, 2017

Is English hard for you to learn? It’s not your fault! This language doesn’t make sense! In this video, I talk about twelve things in English that don’t make sense, and that can be confusing, especially for English learners. Does your alarm clock “go on” or “go off”? It “goes off”. But why do we say “off” when it is actually turning “on”? What does it mean to “sleep like a baby”? Have you “taken a dump” today? Where did you take it? To your mom’s birthday party? It’s weird. It doesn’t make sense. It’s English. Learn these words and expressions so that you can use them correctly, even if they are illogical! Watch this lesson and receive a free gift!
http://www.engvid.com/i-hate-english-12-things-that-dont-make-any-sense/

TRANSCRIPT

Rawr. [Laughs] Ronnie doesn’t make sense. I don’t make sense. I’m me. What? Are you confused again about English? I did a lesson before about 10 words that are confusing or 10 words that don’t make sense in English, and ever since that wonderful video there’s more. There’s just so many of them. I really enjoy the people commenting about the Polish language, how that’s a little crazy. I’d like to go to Poland, by the way. And I’m sure your language has crazy things, so I’m back to tell you not 10 more words that just don’t make sense in English, and why learning English is fun but difficult.

So, let’s start with it. We wear on our bottom part of our bodies “a pair of undies”. “Undies” are slang for underwear or the thing you wear under your pants, they’re called underpants, too. For some reason we wear a pair of underwear, but we only have one section we’ll call it, just to be PC. But, ladies, a bra which we have two things that we put in a bra is singular. So, it’s like we have two body parts down here and one up here. Thank you, clothing designers. Good way to do that. I don’t think we’d want to call them bras. I just don’t get it. Confusing.

Next one, one of my favourites. Maybe you don’t know this phrase yet. You’re going to love it. “Take a dump”. So maybe you have heard someone say: “I have to take a dump.” And you’re like: “Okay. I don’t know what ‘dump’ is.” Take a dump means go to the bathroom, but you’re going number two, so you’re taking a poo. But you guys maybe know that the word “take” means to actually put it in your pocket and take it home. Are you stealing my poo? So in English we say: “I have to take a dump.” But what we’re actually doing is we’re leaving poo or shit in the toilet. So, I think we should change it to: “I have to maybe leave a dump” or “make a dump” would maybe be better. But “take”, that’s just weird. If you would like to take my poo, I’ll charge you $100. I’ll send it to you. Just write me in the comments, $100. Maybe if you’re lucky, there’ll be corn. Oh, burn.

Next one, you probably heard this: -“How did you sleep last night, Ronnie?” -“Badly.” -“Oh, good.” -“How did you sleep last night?” -“I slept like a baby.” Do you have a baby? Have you ever had a baby? Do you know what a baby is? If you’ve answered “yes” to these questions, you know damn well that babies do not really sleep well. You put them to bed, and they wake up and cry. Maybe every 10 minutes, depending on the age of the baby. So in reality if you say: “I slept like a baby” it means that you woke up in the middle of the night, crying, wanting your mother, maybe you need to change your diapers, maybe you took a dump, maybe you’re hungry, and then you go back to sleep, and then you wake up and you cry again. Sleeping like a baby is not cool. Maybe you can say: “I slept like an overworked accountant” or someone who works really hard all the time. A baby, not a good sleeper.

This is one of my… Oh god, I hate this one. “Needless to say”. So: “needless to say” means: I do not need to tell you this, but people say: “I really enjoy camping. Needless to say, I like the outdoors.” So if something is needless to say, why are you saying it? We should say: “I really like camping. I like the outdoors.” “Needless to say” is just extra stuff that is unnecessary and wrong.

Maybe you watch TV and maybe you are offered a “free gift”. Maybe your free gift is something for your baby. So: “sleep like a baby” means that you actually sleep really, really, really well. So, on the TV they’re going to say: “Okay. So, if you want to sleep like a baby tonight, which means sleep really, really, really well, we’re going to give you this free gift with your purchase.” Okay, the last time I checked, if I have a gift, they’re always free. Why would I pay for a gift? It’s like: “This is an unpaid… This is a gift you have to pay for”, not a gift, that’s called a sale or a purchase. So, again, a free gift, it doesn’t make sense. It’s a gift. I’m not going to pay you for a gift. If you’d like to send me a gift, I’m not going to pay you. Yeah, okay.

This is awesome, maybe you have been taught this in your English class or someone says to you: “Can I ask you a question?” And you think: “Yeah, you just did.”

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